Sorry I've been absent so long. Right as I got into blogging again my work did something to the web filter and I had to find a new way around it with my proxy. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't able to get on the internet.

So I've been thinking of changing my user name on here due to some weird viewings I can't explain. Just coming from odd places. I can't afford to do that whole upgrade thing and make everything private. And I don't want too make everything private, I really don't mind other xanga users searching and reading then commenting, however I don't like multiple odd IPs finding me through MSN searches then sitting on my xanga for 3+ hours. It some how makes me feel icky. There is nothing here that damned interesting. So I'll be excepting new name ideas.

So I fell off the smoking wagon. I had to go to court last Wednesday for the psycho ex-roomie thing. I was ill, I puked before we left the house and then again at the court house. I walked outside because I was hyperventilating and smelled the sweet sweet smell of nicotine and tobacco. I wanted one, I ran...literally, to the store across the street and bought a pack. I pulled one out and looked at it in my hand. It seemed almost foreign after so long. I pulled out a lighter (yes I still carry a lighter, they always come in handy) and lit the end and took a good long pull.

...It tasted like heaven. Heavens ass but heaven none the less. There are many types of good cigarettes. The first cigarette of the morning with your cup of coffee, the after a big delicious dinner cigarette, the I just got of a 12 hour flight and I'm feigning like crazy cigarette, the cigarette you smoke while at a awesome show and drinking a beer, and the after good exhausting sweaty sex cigarette. None of those came close to the enjoyment I had with this one damn cigarette on the most stressful day of my life. Oh sweet nicotine how I missed you.

I don't know if its going to become a habit again. It may, it may not. But I haven't smoked for a year so I know I can quit for an extended period of time. That makes me feel good and hopeful. The only problem I've ever had is the fact I never wanted to quit in the first place. Oh well, such is life.

But I have to go back to court on the 21st of November. Karls attorney got caught up in a previous trial so we had to wait again. I do think I'll feel better about it the second time around. I was really expecting some big scary Law and Order type scene with the court room and the lawyers, but it was nothing like that. The courtrooms were actually very cozy and warm. The D.A. handling our case looks like she's all of 12 though but that's okay as I'm sure becoming a district attorney is no small feat.

There was a lot of watiing around. We've waited forever to even be able to go to the trial now we sat in the hall way waiting for about 4 hours. During the course of this I looked down and saw the biggest cockroach of my entire life. about two+ inches long. Thankfully it was dead and curled up on its back. All I could think was that it died waiting for his trial because they take so fricking long.

I'll maybe update a little later on today and recount my trip to Seattle for you, but for now my boss seems to want me to actually work. Bastard.