If you are seeing this as the most recent post, its because directly above it is an invisible protected post only viewable to those on my list.  I've just has something happen in my life that I don't want to put out there for the world to see just yet.  Something very scary and very sad to me.  If I've some how left you off the magic list and you want to view the entry, comment and let me know.  If you don't have a xanga account, email me and I'll send it to you.  Thank you to those in my life who are true friends and standing by me in this.  I love you all. 

I'm at work.  Its Wednesday which means its the busiest day of the week because we have the two new classes starting.  Sooo.....I'm slacking.  I just really don't want to fucking work today.  I left early yesterday because I had a headache that was threatening to turn into a migraine.  I left about 2pm and was home in bed by 2:30pm, slept until 8pm where I woke up to watch American Idol (please don't tell anyone) and then House at 9pm (you can tell people about this, House is a damn good show).  Then it was back to bed for me.  So I got copious amounts of sleep and am alive, awake, alert, and enthusiastic.  Therein lies my problem.  Work goes so much smoother when I'm in a haze and can coast through the day without the knowledge I'm wasting my life away in the hell hole.  Tonight I must get less sleep.

Actually, I do like my job.  Its just not want I want to do with my life.  Oh well...one day right?  At least thats what I keep telling myself.  On day Jason will be done with school and it will be my turn.  The things we do for those we love. 

I work with this one dude, his name is Chip.  Now take everything that name conjures up in your mind and make it manifest into a living breathing man.  That's Chip.  I don't need to describe him because your mental image his name invokes is enough.  But lets pretend for a second you can't imagine things for shit and I'll describe him anyway.  He's about 5'9" semi-stocky build with blond hair that is cut into a style I can only describe as being done by his own mother.  His looks about 12 but in reality is 28.  He is a 'Super Christian' and married when he was 25 because he knocked his girlfriend up in their first sexual experience.  When I say first sexual experience I mean period, the first, the great defloweration.  See Chip was saving himself for marriage and the devil weakened his will with his then girlfriends wobbly ass swathed in sultry stretch denim from Layne Bryant.  They go to church every Sunday, and again on Wednesdays for 'youth groups' and 'woman's studies' and whatever the hell else said Christians do.  

Now being a Christian isn't the problem.  I couldn't care less if on believes in God.  I believe in a creater just not in a Christian sense.  My problem lies in the fact he's the most insecure bible thumping idiot I've ever...okay that right there...what I was going to say about 'ever', that's a lie.  Its the fact I'm forced to be around him.  I can't get away from him.  And its driving me insane.  I'm about to make him a martyr for the cause.  Only I don't know if you can be a martyr if they can't find your body.   Today we were standing in a door way and I had a high lighter uncapped in my hand that accidentally touched him and made a yellow dot.  He looks at me and says, "You know, my wife would appreciate you touching me like that."  I didn't know what the fuck to say.  I just looked at him and went, "Are you fucking kidding me?"  He told me he wasn't but I don't think he understood my tone.  I wanted to follow him out and tell him how never in a million and one years would I touch him with someone else vagina.  My lack of God forbids it!  I'd soon masturbate with a shard of broken glass and that his ugly, insecure, god warrior of a wife has nothing to worry about.  

Things like this have happened a few times, apparently  I sit to close to him and his wife was uncomfortable with it because obviously I want to do nasty fornicating things with him so he moved his desk.  Apparently my v-neck sweater is cut to low.  He also doesn't appreciate the comments I make and I use the lords name in vain to much.  Yes, I use the lords name in vain to much.  So much that he actually went to my boss and I was pulled into his office to have a talk about it.  My response to my boss?  "That's God damned stupid Doug".  He agreed thankfully.  Chip shall soon be out of my department thankfully.  He thinks he runs this department and is bossy as hell but really has no authority.  This is all due to insecurity and the fact he has no people skills.  He basically talked himself in to a demotion. 

So weeee!  People are screaming my name so I guess I should stop ignoring them now and get to it. 

Goodness I'm tired!!!  I've been battling this cold that will not quit.  I think my boyfriend and I are just passing it back and forth to each other.  I woke up the other night and he was facing me with his mouth gapped open breathing hot, dirty sickness directly onto my face.  Boy was that sexy. 

I've been running myself a bit ragged lately.  We've had a bunch of impromptu lodge meetings which all happen in Tacoma which is a 2 and a half hour drive north.  God I'm sick of I-5.   But its always fun to meet with those people, I've even made it up to Seattle a few times to meet with some of the senior members. 

So I had one our our corporate auditors from Memphis, TN come to the terminal to spend a week with me.  Can I just tell you how much not fun that was?  Let me explain something.  I am the Safety and Compliance Officer for my terminal.  This means that no one gets hired unless they go through me and I decide their DOT physical, motor vehicle reports, and paperwork are all signed and in order and meets our standards.  I also have to take care of the employed drivers if they have any workmans comp problems, payroll problems, or if they are put on safety hold for whatever reason I am responsible for getting them off.  That sounds really bad, but oh well.  Now I keep checking, but I am only one person.  If anyone out there knows where the other me's are, please send them my way as they are needed.  Now, my position in Memphis consists of 8-10 people.  This woman doesn't seem to comprehend why my terminal, being a smaller one, has to make adjustments accordingly as I am only one person with two hands, and half a brain.  So it was a week of hell as she dictated every little thing I was doing wrong and how I needed to do it by the letter.  It was a lot of smiling and nodding by my boss and myself until she left and we changed everything back to the old way we did it.  Who the hell cares how we get it done, as long as the job is done at the end of the week.  We've never had a problem with this. 

The other thing about this woman that exhausted me...she wanted to go out EVERY DAMN NIGHT!  She wanted to see downtown and go to bars.  Now, I'm not a fuddy duddy yet and still do enjoy the occasional drink and a live music show, but not on a work night and not every night of the week.  However this womans opinion directly affects my job and whether or not I get to keep it so I had to oblige.  Now, she is souther.  Baptist southern.  So she has her opinions on things that I just don't agree with.  Of coarse due to the business part of our relationship I could come right out and tell her to fuck off so I had to show my dissent in my own little ways.  One night I made sure to take her to this neat little wine bar....directly next door to one of Portlands oldest gay bars.  So no, we weren't in a gay bar, but she had to see it walking in and walking out.  The second night I chose a bar right next door to the club that is the longest running drag show in Portland.  Some of the 'woman' she couldn't even tell until it was tooo late and she had already engaged them in conversation.  The third night I took her to a bar next door to one of Portlands many goth clubs.  She took one look at the black clad, white make-up wearing, black haired people with piercing's everywhere and went, "Are those garth people!?!?"  I explained to her that the term was 'goth' and that yes, they were.  It also happened to be a fetish night so she was vastly confused about why some people had their girlfriends or boyfriends on leashes. 
Hey, if I have to deal with her and her ignorant, bigoted ass, I'm going to do it my way.  She asked if we had any country music/line dancing clubs, and thankfully we don't, so I don't have to feel bad if I had to have lied to her.  Aw, who the hell am I kidding, I wouldn't have felt bad in the least!  So that had me exhausted, then I had to drive to Tacoma Saturday morning and didn't get back until late that night.  So I am one sleepy girl.  In fact, I think I'm going to go hit the pillow!

Good night!  I love you all!