April 15, 2005
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So life has be so-so lately. Nothing bad, just nothing extraordinarily good either. I've sort of been depressed with Jason working nights. I just don't get to see him enough.
I got into arguments with my mother and my friend Sarah (both separately). Every now and then I'll go through a week or so where I'm just not talkative. I'm not mad at anyone, nothing is wrong, I just feel sort of quiet. They don't seem to get it. I've known Sarah for 10 years and obviously my mother all my life and they will both sit there and question me to death about 'what's wrong?' and then after telling them a million times I'm fine, they end at the conclusion that I'm mad at them and throw a fit or pout. Which ofcoarse irritates me then I really am mad at them.
Conversley to that, it also bugs me when people who haven't known me for years just assume I'm being a bitch and don't ask. If you haven't seen me do this before, frickin' ask. There is nothing like people being mad at you and you really don't know why. Then finding out it was over something stupid like this, when simply asking "you've seemed quiet/different" would have solved the problem. That annoys me in ways I can't explain. You deserve to be bothered if you don't care enough to ask, or just aren't smart enough. People get so wrapped up in their own emotions and feelings of irritation that they don't even do the simple thing of asking to even solve the problem and let emotion over ride logical and simple communication.
I don't get why people can't just take what I'm saying as truth. There doesn't need to be some deep reason that I'm feeling untalkative and quiet, I just am. Trust me, if I were mad at you, you'd know about it. And if I'm having issues I have no problem saying so. Even asking once is okay, but I hate getting the third degree. An really, it only makes me want to wait longer before I talk to you again because I'm annoyed.
These are the moments I love Jason more than anyone else on the planet. He gets me. Never once has he gotten weirded out by this. I think he asked me once two and a half years ago when we first started dating, I explained, and it never came up again. Also, he's really the only one who can make me come out of the quiet mood by making me laugh, then lets me go back to being quiet. We've never had the common issue of feeling uncomfortable if there is a moment of silence between us. There is nothing I love more during these times than sitting on the couch with him not saying anything at all. Its a very comforting feeling.
Okay, that turned from a rant into ooey gooey 'I love my boyfriend' touchy feely crap. Sorry, I am prone to that every now and then. See what he does to me, he's evil.
Comments (4)
Hehe, evil. You're lucky to have somone who understands that about you. Sorry you ended up in a spat with your mom and Sarah, though. I go through similar phases, but they're not very obvious...I just feel like I have nothing to say or nothing I really want to talk about. Then, I usually let the machine get the phone or don't go on AIM, or just kinda pull into myself and do alone-stuff.
Have a good weekend, Beth :wub:
Bah, I can't shut up, I usually am very talkative. If I am quiet there is something wrong. I am glad you got all oooy gooey, it's better than cursing him out on here hehe. :wub:
I'm much the same way.
Sometimes I literally just cannot put into words how I'm feeling....so I'd rather say nothing than say something inadequate.
But that doesn't make it easier for folk around me
I'll fine with lovey dovey crap
And I'm even more fine with being quiet. It's irksome though when others just don't get it.
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