So Jason and I went camping a month or so back. It was a lot of fun. Nice and relaxing, and my dog enjoyed it. Then the way back...the way back was plagued by this long flatbed truck FILLED with bricks. We were right behind it. This brick truck from the bowels of hell was driving at the speed of 5 miles an hour. FIVE NAIL BITING NERVE WEARING MILES AN HOUR!!! It was my car, and four others behind me. After following this brick truck for about an hour and fifteen minutes we get to a straight away and I get my hopes up, but soon after those same hopes are dashed by a sign saying "NEXT PASSING ZONE: 4 MILES" Now, four miles isn't that far...when you're driving the speed limit. But four miles when you are driving five miles an hour, well you can do the math yourself.

But even though its a straight away I can't pass because I'm an oddly moral driver (probably the only place in life but whatever). Then the car in the back of the line passes us and the brick truck [i]*SWOOSH*[/i] it goes out in front and to the freedom of the open road. Then the third car behind us goes for it and passes us and the brick truck [i]*SWISH!*[/i] I look over an see the occupants smiling in triumph at the evil truck and its load of bricks because it could hold them back no more. Then the second car, a beautiful silver explorer, [i]*ZIIIPP!!![/i] it shoots past us gleaming in the sun like a silver warrior slaying the brick truck as it moves onward and upward to freedom. All thats left is me and the car behind me. I look in my rear view mirror and see an older, partially rusted, jalopy. The driver was gripping the stearing wheel, like he was trying to feel if the old car had one last run left in him. He stated to pull out..then back in, gunning the engine slightly to get the feel of the road. Then he made his move. The old horse pulled up beside me [i]*RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE*[/i] I look up at the evil brick truck right as it lets out a vile plumb of black smoke choking me and killing the enviroment. I look and our straight away is almost coming to and end. I'm debating in my head, pass and lead the brick truck, or continue to follow...

I remember a Longfellow quote from Honors English my freshmen year that said, 'Many men will be left behind because the choose to follow instead of lead'

I decided I was not going to be one of those men and at the last minute pull out behind that little jalopy as its fighting to move. Its moving slowly, so I'm close behind it trying to push it with the force of my will and help it along. Before long its passed the brick truck, leaving me level with the head of the beast. With one last push of the gas pedal I've pulled ahead and am swooping back over behind my friend in his jalopy and in front of the brick truck. The wind rushes into my opened window as we move along back at the speed limit. Its fresh and crisp, no longer plagued by the vile breath emited from the brick truck. Before long we make it to the passing zone and the brick truck is no longer in my rear view mirrow. I smile inwardly at myself. Thats when somthing catches my eye in the rear view mirror. Lights...red and blue ones...fuck.

I pull over and a cop looking no older than 20 walks up to my car. "Can I ask you a question miss?" [i]'NO!'[/i]I thinkin my head as "ofcoarse officer" leaves my lips. "Why were you following that car so closely?" There was only one car I followed to closely. But it wasn't recklessly! That jalopy needed help! We beat the evil brick beat together! Right then I knew. I saw his trap. In order to answer his question I had to admit I was following closely because we were passing the brick demon...in a no passing zone. There in tying the noose around my neck for two sins. HA HA! I'm to wiley for you and shall not fall into your sticky web you pig. I shall do what every smart girl does when she is unable to use her wicked charms to get out of a situation. "I'm sorry sir, I'm not sure what car you mean? That red one I was just behind? I don't know..."[i]*twirls hair/bats eyes*[/i] He looks at me confused, "Well let me give you a hint, it was an older sort of rusted car and it was passing a brick truck and you were following it closing AROUND the brick truck in a no passing zone and I was following you the whole time" My my, did he have to be so blunt. Hadn't he heard of Longfellow! And about leading and not following and triumph over evil!!! My God did he not read Tolkien or paid attention to history! Apparently not.

He took my information and Jason and I had to sit there for about an hour in the hot sun every now and then coming up to ask questions. Everytime he'd walk up to the window we'd get a new lecture about the dangers of driving the way we did and how many accidents and deaths occured from people passing in the no passing zone. He didn't understand these were mayrters for the cause of freedom of the road and oppression from evil brick trucks. Everytime he walked up to the window our dog got excited and tried to stick her head out and give him her tennis ball. She didn't understand he was an evil man trying to punish us for wanting freedom.

Eventually about 45 minutes to an hour later he comes back and hands me a ticket. Of my crimes I was charged with:

*Passing in a no passing zone
*Following to close
*Reckless driving

A grand total of $764.00 of a ticket. Thus limiting my freedom even more as now I'm frickin' poor. The cop gave us one last lecture on safe driving and how he didn't want to see us killed and blah blah blah. He was actually pretty nice even though he was working for the enemy. Finally we are ready to go. He gets back in his cop car and as I look up to pull back on to the road I flick on my blinker and look in my rear view mirror to pull out....right as the brick truck catches up to us and passes us again.

The Gods have a wicked, wicked sense of humor.

All of that long back story brings me up to last night. I got a letter from the DMV telling me due to my ticket starting on 11/04 my license is restricted to no driving between the hours of 12am and 5am. Apparently if you get three tickets they restrict your driving even if the three tickets are actually three infractions on one ticket. Now yes, I know I broke the law and am taking the consiquenses. But I just think the restriction is a little much. I've had a clean record up until that point so its not like I'm a habitually bad driver. And now my freedom is even more restricted as I'm poor and have a curfew. I didn't even have a curfew in high school! All because I fought for the freedom of the road and didn't notice a cop following me. Apparently I should have paid attention to the words of Henry Gilmer instead of Longfellow:

"Look over your shoulder now and then to be sure someone's not following you."

So I am soooo annoyed.  I'm am a huge nerd, we all know
this.  And on Friday nights don't expect to hear from me between
the hours of 7pm and 11pm and its Sci-Fi Fridays and FireFly, Stargate
SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica are on.  My
boyfriend and I  live for Friday night because its good shows, and
good alone time just me and him on the couch and ordering pizza. 

I was on my way home from work last night and I get a call and its
Jason telling me the internet and cable are off.  'Que?'  I
say.  Jason recalls taking a nap and hearing some banging around
on the side of the apartment where the cable box is but thought nothing
of it.  He called the cable company and they said that our bill is
current and they don't know what happened.  So he goes to take a
look and someone had broken into the box, AND STOLEN OUR
CABLE!!!!  There are four units that this box serves and all have
it hooked up but us.  And the great part, Comcast says they can't
come out until the next afternoon, and its the season finales on Sci-Fi
Fridays.  This will not work.

So our options are, to guess which one of our lovely neighbors stole
our cable and put it back and hope we guessed right and aren't
disconnecting some unlucky innocent person, call Comcast and scream
until they bring someone out there to fix it before 7pm.  Go over
to my mothers to watch TV and then be bored the rest of the night, or
go door to door and try to beat a confession out of one of our
neighbors. 

I opt for the beating of confession out of our trashy neighbors since
I'm in a rage, however Jason thinks it may be bad for intercommunity
relations for me deal out renegade justice and stops me just before
just after I starting banging on apartment #2s door and drug me
inside.   Party killer. 

What he ends up doing is going to the store and buying a splitter and
hooking our cable up to someone elses for the time being.  He went
out this afternoon before the cable guy got here and removed it because
there is a $500 fine for tampering with a cable box even if it is to
restore your service that was wrongly stolen from you.  The cable
guys said my hunch was right and it was the people in #2.  This
ended with Jason dragging me away from apartment #2 just after I got
done banging on their door again.  Party killer.

Now I'm not an overly moral person, I don't care if you steal
cable.   Their service sucks and is way to expensive anyway
and they are a fat corporate whore of a company so screw them. 
But don't steal my cabel on
Sci-Fi Fridays and leave me with nothing.  Hell, I would have
struck a deal with them and used the splitter and we split the
bill.  We both win.  But now they are on my shit list and I
plan on letting my dog poop in front of their apartment and I'm not
going to clean it up.  Serves them right.   Bastards...

You Are a Warrior Soul

You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

So I'm updating because Austin told me to. And Austin rules.

Life has been very hectic. Whenever life gets this way I forget to update or I don't want to re-hash all the crap. Its weird because isn't that the time you're suposed to update otherwise its just boring meaningless crap. Maybe its all crap anway.

My court date got moved until the 28th. I don't want to go. I can't over the idea that I'm commiting the greatest betrayl by testifying against Karl. He was wrong, I have no doubt in my mind about that, and he doesn't care. Why am I so hung up on this? It eats me up everyday when I think about it. My stomache just twists itself into knots. I'm also nervous because I don't know what to expect. I've never been to court like this before. Will there be a jury? Will Karls lawyer get me on the stand and rip me to shreds like on Law and Order? Will I have the courage to look at Karl in the eyes and will we ever have a friendship again. Why do I even want to after all the stuff he's pulled.

I also found out he's trying to get me evicted. I was never on the lease there becaues I had previously worked for the property company. So he's been calling the apartment manager tell them I'm living there illegally and when my manager told him she didn't care he started calling her boss and causing problems. Luckily they were fine with the situation. He then started demanding his deposit from them. Something I find funny. He's screwed us out of so much money and he actually expects to get that back. He wont get it because its tied up in the apartment and he'd have to break the lease to do so which would mean he'd have to pay about $1800 in lease breaking fees.

I don't know. School has to be put off again as well, my financial aid isn't going to be in for this coming term so I have to wait until winter term. That depresses me to no end. But at least it gives Jason time to get a job and all that good stuff. I lost my cell phone too, which blows. I had over 200 phone number in that and I feel rather lost without them.

This is expectionally long, but bless you if you muddle through it.

So, I'm not sure where to begin. I've spent the last day and a half numb and pretending nothing happened and I may wake up from this dream.

As most who know me may know, I've been having problems with my roommate. Namely is disinterest in paying bills and his dislike of my boyfriend. Well, my boyfriend and I have been paying our third of both electric and cable/internet bills since we moved in last November, but during that time since my roommate hasn't paid a lick of his portion, we have a huge past due and our electricity was turned off. My boyfriend and I were shocked and pissed. The past due was $360.00. My boyfriend, before I got home, confronted him about it and our roommate (Karl btw) said we would have to wait a couple of weeks.

This put us in a situation. Do we sit with out lights for a 'few weeks' or do we pay Karls $360 and probably never see the $$ again. Well, due to my boyfriend having homework to do and the fact I can't wake up for work without an alarm clock and don't like to shower in the dark, I decided to pay it with my birthday money. I had $200 from my birthday and had worked hard to save another $200. There is all fucking went. Needless to say I was very upset and sort of broke down in tears. So Jason stormed up stairs and got into a argument with Karl regarding his lack of bill paying and how upset I was. Karl freaked out and told Jason if he ever tried to come near his room again he'd kill him. I told them both the cool the fuck off and we went out to dinner.

We spent the night at a friends house and the next day Jason to my birthday money and paid the bill. During the evening when we were collecting our stuff to go to our friends Jason grabbed the PS2 and accidentally got Karls dual shock controller. He didn't mean to, but hey, it was dark in their. Karl realizes this the next day and tells Jason he wants it 'immediately'. Jason of coarse retorted with how he wants the money for the bills 'immediately'. Karl then turns around and tells Jason he's going to call his school and tell them he's stealing equipment and getting him expelled. Where the fuck did that come from? Where the hell does he get off threatening something so important over a video game controller and his lack of bill paying.

Jason follows Karl upstairs to ask what the hell he meant by that and Karl turns and starts wailing on him. I get upstairs just as Karl is about to shove Jason down the stairs and I get behind Jason to brace him and give him some leverage from falling. It works, it also gets me thrown into a wall. I finally get between the and Karl turns and picks up his computer tower over his head and starts to swing it. He gets around me a narrowly missing brining it down on Jasons head. I get between them again and Jason runs downstairs to get a baseball bat. I catch him on the stairs and tell him not to be stupid, this will only get him in more trouble and to handle the situation right. So we step outside and Jason calls the cops.

We are still outside when they show up. I'm shaking like crazy and the poor dog doesn't know what the fuck. Jasons standing with the officers behind the fence at the entrance to the parking lot. Thats when Karl comes out trying to leave. I don't thing he saw the police officers because he was to busy making faces at me. The police talk to them both separately, and talk to me as well. I tell them what happened, no more, no less. Then the officers approached Karl and started to put him in handcuffs.

I turned away. I couldn't watch. I just couldn't watch my best friend of over 10 years get arrested. With it I felt any hope of mending our friendship slipping away. I could hear them clicking shut the handcuffs, it was all I could hear. It was deafening. Even though he didn't pay the bills, he hit first and generally went insane, I couldn't help but feeling like I betrayed him. Like I failed as a friend. I never in a million years thought I would be standing idly watching my best friend get arrested and doing nothing.

Later Jason and I went to dinner to try to relax and talk. He told me he knew this was hard on me and that if I didn't want him to, he wouldn't press any charges. That was sweet of him. I told him that it really was up to him. He was the one assaulted. I guess mine and Karls friendship changed the minute he got arrested, and charges or not charges is going to change that. I told Jason I'd support him 100% with whatever he wanted to do. So he's pressing charges. The DA told him that he easily has a case for harassment and assault IV as Jason had visible marks on him. Also, Karl will be on probation for 2 years and there will be a restraining order. Currently he can't come back tot he house of have any contact with us.

Now we have to pay for his portion of the bills AND is $300 for rent this coming month on top of finding a new place to live and possibly having lease breaking fees up to or over $1000.

I really don't know what to feel right now.

God, work sucks. First off , there is a group of 5 woman in our CSR department. 3 of which, are the most annoying catty, snobbish, gossiping, and back stabbing woman I've ever met. Well, i shouldn't say that because every job has a group of women like this. I love being female, I just typically have issues with my peers as I'm not a pretentious bitch. The leader of the pack and I have gotten into little tiffs now and then because she can't seem to keep her hands off my stuff. She seems to often mistake my desk for a supply closet. I'm just a receptionist so why would I need my scissors, chair, stapler, or even my entire fucking cabinet. I guess when I pulled her into the break room to politely tell her to keep her paws of my crap she must have had water in her ears as she didn't listen. So I started locking my desk. And do you know what she had the balls to ask me? FOR A FRICKIN' KEY TO MY DESK!!!

I told her 'no' and that there was nothing in their she needed that she either A)couldn't find in the actual supply closet or B) wasn't hers to be looking at (other people attendance records etc)

So that started her little 'issue' with me. She's one of those anal, OCD types that always has to be in control and I didn't let her. So she'll continually get into my things and my work under the guise of, "well I didn't know what you were doing with it" my response of, 'well then don't touch it' doesn't go along well either.

So that brings us to the last two weeks. One of the CSRs had quit and I turned in my resume as I am way more qualified for that position, not only with customer service, but sales and past cargo experience as well. I am over qualified for a receptionist position, I only took this job as I needed something ASAP and they promised me I would be promoted. So low and behold, guess who my manager has turned the interviewing and hiring of the new CSR over to? If you guess the desk pilferer, your correct. Needless to say outside people have been coming in for interviews today and no one has said one damn word to me. I wonder if he even looked at my resume on its expensive cotton paper before he fed it to the shredder.

I just don't take authority well. Its not that I can't be managed, I just can't be micro-managed and I don't tolerate being bullied and I certainly don't tolerate and put up with mindless, gossiping woman. Its just the unfortunate part of life I have found that 99% of all jobs include all 3. As for that other 1%, I don't know where it is yet.

So I'm depressed, and I want to throw this computer over the partition directly onto that bitches head.

Hey, so I'm an idiot.  My password on here somehow got disabled
and I couldn't log on to update or read my subs.  I emailed them a
million and one times to help with the problem and I thought they were
ignoring me.  Then while talking to Austin the other night I
checked my old email and their my reset password was.  I didn't
even thing about it. 

So I just became an ordained minister.  I can marry people,
perform baptisms, last rights, absolve people of their sins
etc...  It took abou three minutes at www.ulc.org.  My friend
Cameron was ordained through them and has married basically all of my
friends.  Kind of odd.  But I can also pick a title

http://www.ulc.org/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=65

Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality
has a nice ring to it don't you think?  Ofcoarse Goddess is nice
too, so is Wizard.  But thats just because I just finished Harry
Potter.  So anyone need to get married or baptised?  I'm
itchen to get started! 

OH, I can also start my own church now.  Now that is one SCARY thought!!!

I wish, more than anything I've ever wished for, that stupidity was painful. So everytime stupid people went to do something stupid, it would cause agonizing pain.

So my roommate lost his job. He tried to tell me why, I told him I didn't care, just pay the fucking bills. I doubt that will happen. In the 7 months we've lived here he's never paid an electric bill and the cable bill once so I'm not holding my breath. But he's on the lease with my boyfriend so I can't kick him out and I don't know how to handle the situation. I can't NOT pay the bills as there in my name and I personally enjoy the use of electricity and internet. So I feel like theres nothing I can do. I have to pay the bills, but I can't kick him out. This is his 3rd job in the last 7 months. Fuck.

The the stupid people at work. Meh. For those that don't know I'm a receptionist at a trucking company. So I deal with a lot of truckers. Dirty, greasy, three teeth having truckers. A lot of their managers that work directly in my building used to be truckers, so basically these are the idiot savants of the truckers. Stupid, but usually come with a few more teeth and the ability to string together a sentence.

So these idiot savants are annoyed with me. Why you ask? Well, we have a WHITE box with a PINK tag that says PHOENIX on it to put any interoffice mail that needs to be sent to our corporate office in Phoenix. Every Tuesday and Thursay I collect the contents of this box and over night UPS it to Phoenix. Simple enough...

Well, we just had a new driving school open, so I made another box to put the schools mail in so its all in one place when they come to pick it up, or I can send it to them. This box is BROWN with a RED tag that says SCHOOL on it.

I have had EVERY manager complain to me that they don't like the new box because they can't tell them apart and they get confused. They bitch EVERYTIME they go to put something in one of the boxes, "Which one does what?" they'll ask me with a furrow in their brow. "There boxes" I reply, "they don't 'do' anything except sit there being boxy and holding stuff" I'll say to them as they look at me still perplexed. "READ THE TAG!" Oh, "This one says 'school' and this one says 'Phoenix'" and then they'll still sit there looking at me expectantly. Jesus Fucking Christ, why is this so god damned hard. One box is white with a pink tag, the other box is brown with a red tag, and they both say different things. Why the hell can you not tell them apart!!! They look nothing a like! I actuall had a guy ask me if I could get a box of another shape so it would be easier to tell them apart. WTF! Would he like a round box, or perhaps a triangle box? Maybe in the shape of a star or heart so he subconciously feels loved and unique. I REFUSE to change the boxes as asked, I REFUSE to get rid of one as requested because I am NOT going to cater to these mother fucking idiots!

Christ...okay, I feel ranted out now. Thank you if you actually read all of that.

EDIT: Sorry for the over use of caps.

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.For you, comfort and calm are very important.You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

>
I have spent forever today reading and trying to catch up on everyones
Xangas.  For some reason my proxy stopped working with xanga at
work so I have missed a lot of your updates.  I can't wait for the
weekend after the 4th of July.  I have a four day weekend.  I
was going to go to Summer Star with Cameron but rides and crap didn't
work out.  Contemplated a Mid-Summers type party but I really
don't have a yard big enough.  So instead Jason and I are packing
up the dog and going camping just the two of us...er..three of
us.  It will be a nice break just to spend some time together away
and get back to nature.  I don't think he's as big of a camping
buff as I am, but he'll survive two nights.  We've also been
wanting to go to the beach for awhile so we are going to go camping at
the beach.  Two birds one stone type deal.  I was thinking of
procuring some additional entertainment to bring with us.  And
lets face it, doing it in the woods is much better than at home. So we
both have been trying to get my roommate to sit down and talk about the
bills, but he is ever so slick at avoiding us.  He know we want to
talk so he conveniently leaves early and comes home late as to avoid
us.  Bastard.  Cameron and I are going to a concert on monday
night and then in August Howie Day is back in town.  He's playing
at the Crystal Ballroom.  I'm not to big on that place.  The
floor is this floating floor that bounces when walked on so you feel
like your essentially dancing on a cloud.  Its really cool, but
when your drunk and have a hard time walking to begin with, it doesn't
help matters.  I've also gotten sea sick and nauseous from
consuming one to many rum and cokes and then trying to make it to the
bathroom on the otherside of the floor.

 ...It just occured to me I could not drink as much, but where is the fun in that?

 Also, I'm reading The Mists of Avalon.  Cameron has told me
for years to read it and it hooked me right away.  I love stories
told from the womans point of view.  I truely believe was are the
stronger, smarter sex and only need men to take care of spiders...and
mowing the lawn.  Well, and maybe one other thing too. 
Marion Zimmer Bradley also wrote a book about Helen of Troy and the
Trojan War from the female perspective.  I think I'll pick that
one up next.

Cameron

I had a dream last night.

One of those very real dreams, yet very surreal dreams where you may actually have to try to look for symbolism in what seems very real then later in the day you look at what you dreamt and convince yourself you're silly, it was all a dream and means nothing.

I was in a city, a random normal city and I look up and see a satellite fall from the sky. It meets the earth a ways off in a burst of fire and smoke. Some see it, some do not.

I race to find it and the hole it created on impact and find...people, bad people, convincing those around that there was nothing to see. I pretend to be among the sheep and agree as the people are menacing.

Then, I look up as another satellite falls. Only this time I don't ignore it. I have to find someone now. An old woman. I make plans with those who see with me and I find her and must escape as the bad people are anticipating my every move. The only way to get away is to stop thinking. To stop thinking in the way I've been taught. I'm racing through the forest with the bad people following me. I have a destination I must reach only I don't know where it is or what I will find there. I look to make sure the old woman is still follow ing. I realize the old woman is dead. She died a ways back, only I'm just now noticing...

....then the sun gets brighter and I wake up.

sometimes I think it would be easier to not dream.